The Habit of Habits: How to Start a Habit When You Feel Overwhelmed

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The Habit of Habits: How to Start a Habit When You Feel Overwhelmed

We all want to live better—eat healthier, move more, sleep well, be more present. But when life already feels heavy, the idea of starting a new habit can feel like too much. Where do you even begin when you're already overwhelmed?

That’s where the habit of habits comes in—not just the habits themselves, but the mindset and approach to building habits gently, intentionally, and realistically, especially when your mental and emotional plate is full.

Why Starting Is the Hardest Part

When you're overwhelmed, everything feels urgent and impossible at the same time. Your mind is juggling a dozen open tabs, your energy is low, and your time feels stretched. Adding one more thing, even something “small,” can feel like a tipping point.

But the truth is, the right habit—started the right way—can actually help reduce overwhelm. Habits give structure to chaos. They give you a foothold when everything feels slippery.

So, how do you start a habit when just getting through the day already feels like a lot?

1. Shrink the Habit Until It’s Almost Ridiculous

If you're feeling overwhelmed, the habit you're trying to start is probably too big.

Want to start walking every day? Start with putting on your shoes.
Want to journal every morning? Start with writing one sentence.
Want to drink more water? Start with a single sip when you wake up.

This isn’t about staying small forever—it’s about proving to yourself that you can start. Momentum is more powerful than motivation.

"Make it so easy you can’t say no." – Leo Babauta

2. Tie It to Something You Already Do

One of the easiest ways to build a new habit is to attach it to an existing one. This is called habit stacking.

  • After I make coffee, I will stretch for 30 seconds.

  • After I brush my teeth, I will take my vitamins.

  • After I close my laptop for the day, I will walk for 5 minutes.

By linking your new habit to something already built into your routine, it feels more natural—and you’re less likely to forget.

3. Focus on Identity, Not Outcome

Instead of aiming for a result, focus on the type of person you're becoming.

  • Don’t just aim to read more—become a reader.

  • Don’t aim to exercise daily—become someone who moves their body.

  • Don’t try to cut out junk food—become someone who nourishes themselves.

This mindset shift makes the habit about who you are, not just what you do. And when things get hard, that deeper sense of purpose helps you stick with it.

4. Track It Visually (but Lightly)

A simple visual cue—like crossing off a day on a calendar—can be incredibly motivating. It’s a way to say to yourself, “I showed up today.”

Keep it simple. Don’t overcomplicate the system. You don’t need an app or a spreadsheet. Just a sticky note or a journal is enough.

5. Give Yourself Permission to Start Messy

Life isn’t perfect. You won’t always be in the mood. You’ll miss days. You’ll get tired, discouraged, distracted.

That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human.

The habit of habits is not about being perfect—it’s about coming back again and again. The restart is part of the rhythm.

Final Thoughts: Gentle Consistency Over Harsh Discipline

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you don’t need another pressure. You need relief. Let habits serve you, not shame you. Let them be an act of kindness, not just discipline.

Start small. Be gentle. Keep going.

The habit of habits is simply this: showing up for yourself in small ways, consistently over time. That’s where real change begins.

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